Sometimes its seems that relationships can be more about the relationship itself rather than the person. (Speaking generally rather than romantic.) Relationships should always be about the person themselves but often it seems that there is relationship breakdown because people idolize the relationship itself and as people change or make mistakes, as inevitably happens, it affects their “relationship” which turns in on itself and becomes damaged.

Perhaps if people were valued above the relationship there would be a greater grace for one another and a greater space for moving and growing together and the relationship developing. Perhaps trying to protect a relationship can damage it.

It is like when you see old friends or family it is easy to revert to old ways. Certainly with family, growing up, the relationships revolved about self and the focus was on the relationship not the family member - so on return you start where you left off. Those relationships that are just about the actual people are freer to pick up where ever you are in the present, there is space for people to be different. It has to be ok, whether the relationship is closer or not - it is shaped by the people rather than it shaping them.

I wonder if the same is true in other areas. In business for instance, or relationships that are forged around a task. What would genuinely people centered business look like - or people centered church - or people centered governance?